In a list of the most stressful occasions an individual will go through in their lives, including moving house and dealing with the death of a loved one, a first date is considered by most of us as being very high up indeed.
It’s understandable that meeting for a first in-person encounter, albeit perhaps fueled by communication via other forms, will be something many of us dread but clearly it should be something you look forward to and there are of course some helpful ways to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible.
Here are some do’s and don’ts when it comes to that all-important first date.
What to Remember
This sounds a bit like a cliche but is entirely correct. There is no point in putting across a perception of yourself that isn’t real as sooner or later the reality will hone into view. Try to be relaxed and as real as you can, regardless of whether you feel that may not be what your date wants from you.
Leave Your Phone In Your Pocket
If you look around you wherever you may be reading this article, you’ll probably note that every second person is stuck deep into their phones. This is of course unavoidable but when on a date it’s unforgivable.
There is literally no reason why you should be looking at your phone at all during your date. Even if the date isn’t going well and you have run out of conversation, looking at your phone should be out of the question. Also, put your phone on silent.
Again this should be obvious, but you’d be surprised how often this golden rule is ignored. Yes it’s true you should feel comfortable and not constricted by an outfit that is all style over substance, but you should dress well.
Dressing in too casual a way, or with a minimum of effort, goes some way to showing your date just what you think about them. You should aim to dress well without being too bold, after all you don’t want your outfit to be the only talking point from your meeting.
Accessorising is always an understated way of making an outfit pop. We’d recommend a nice item of jewelry or two, perhaps a stylish name necklace, and a great place to find a stylish selection is right here, that can act as a nice conversation piece.
Maybe you are a bit of a talker or when you are nervous you don’t let others get a word in. On your first date you must be attentive and react to what you are being told, don’t just sit there and nod.
Listening also means paying attention and being interested in what is being said, even if that requires you to fake it, in this instance it’s the thoughtful approach to take.
Take Some Pressure Off the Date By Making it a Relaxed One
Maybe your first date doesn’t have to be dinner in a posh restaurant? Perhaps it doesn’t need to be a dinner date at all? It could be a casual lunch or even a coffee, these types of dates have less baggage with them and can help you ease into things and will take some of the pressure off.
Of course if you want to meet in the evening then why not just arrange to meet in a nice bar? That way, if things are going well, you can always move to somewhere to eat if the situation dictates it to be going in that direction.
What to Avoid
Don’t Be Late
Being late in any situation should be frowned upon and for a first date it should be avoided like the plague. There’s no reason to arrive for your first date, or indeed any date, later than planned as it goes some way to showing just how important the date is to you.
It also reflects poorly on yourself and the way you are as a person. Indeed, arriving early is the best policy. Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you look desperate.
Do Not Bring Up Past Relationships
This is the biggest of no no’s. There’s genuinely no reason whatsoever for bringing up any past relationships. We can think of no positive spin on doing so, even if your date does bring up an ex, it’s best to avoid discussing yours at all costs.
Don’t Hog the Conversation
Be mindful of your date. Of course you should be communicative and try to make the night as relaxed and enjoyable as possible but maybe just don’t keep interrupting and this is especially true for those who like to talk. Similarly if you are a bit introverted, do try to speak as much as possible, otherwise it could be a very long night, and not in a good way.
Don’t Discuss the Second Date
A common mistake made during a first date is to project too far forward. For instance, however well the date is going there’s no reason to plan additional dates until this one is over. Don’t get overly excited or confident about how things are going.
Clearly at the end of the evening, if you want to meet your date again, then you can of course arrange to do so. The trick is to look eager but not thirsty.