More and more couples are going through a divorce. Whether it is a mutual, or unilateral decision, no one comes out of this battle unscathed, at least from an emotional point of view. Very often children are most affected. To make this process as painless as possible, people do not hesitate to seek the help of a mediator. You must have someone to consult with and try to find the most painless solution for all. A mediator is there to help you because going to court can cost a real small fortune and can be stressful for children. Also, if you end up on the court, you will be there to hear the final verdict with no possibility to negotiate. This will certainly be the best solution for your children as well because the period of parental resentment is extremely stressful for them and can leave lasting consequences on their health if it is not approached in the right way. For this reason, many couples get a mediator to try to solve their problems out of the court.
Mediation is a process in which both partners are trying to find the best solution together with the professional mediator. In general, a mediator can be considered as a friend helping you to go through divorce painlessly, or a psychologist who will listen to you and understand your needs. Also, in cases where children are involved, very often is organized mediator session including them, too. After a relationship breakdown, discussing who will get children and how often another party is allowed to see them, is very emotional for all family members, and this is the moment people realize they are going to need professional help O’Sullivan Mediation offers. It is important that the mediator instills confidence in you and that you are very open in talking to him. There is no need to talk about the level of professionalism because it is assumed that everyone expects discretion.
For those who are busy with work and cannot agree with a former partner on when to go, there is also the option of an online mediator. This is extremely practical if you have already heard of someone but live far away from you. Thanks to modern technology, it is possible to make a conference via Skype or some other platform.
We have several divisions and subdivisions in the mediation itself. Talking about family issues, there is family dispute resolution, post/separation, child custody mediation, and so on. Speaking of Family Dispute Mediation (FDM), it is a special mediation type to help separated families agree. While discussing many possibilities, the focus will be on children, their needs, and what is best for them. Its goal is to assist parents to agree with professional help.
It is very important to prepare yourself and your family well for the family court mediation. It is necessary to think in advance about all the important things such as what is best for the child, what are his current needs regarding age, and how to keep both parties, especially children, satisfied. It would be said that many people make the mistake of telling children bad things about the other parent or even prohibiting their seeing. But it only makes sense if your partner has hurt the child. In any other case, it is ruthless. Always keep in mind that the child is between the two of you and that you don’t need to resent each other through him. Allow the child to have their choice, even if you are not happy with it. After all, you are both parents.
To make this process easier for your family and you as well, select a proper mediator. This implies a mediator with whom both parties will be satisfied because neither you nor your ex-partner needs a lawyer to represent your interests, but a mediator who will find the best solution for both parties.
To approach the conversation in the right way, with the goal that both parties are satisfied with the outcome, you must approach openly, that you are ready to communicate, to express your opinion, but also to listen to others. Making a list of scenarios you would accept and under what line you do not go is very important. Think about it in advance and start with negotiations. Also, to spare your time, collect all documents you are going to need. By this, you will make the mediator‘s work easier, too.
You need to be aware that what you consider the best is not always the best for your children. Make sure you understand their needs. Emotions play a big role in all of this. Both the positive and the negative can lead us in the wrong direction. Try to stay calm with the mediator and refrain from emotional outbursts or partner attacks. If you feel them slowly rising at any point, ask for a break until you calm down a bit.
We already mention that it is inevitable to approach the mediator with an open mind, it is important to be patient so the case could be solved in the best way for all. Unlike the court, mediation affords to improvise and make joint decisions, adapting the agreement to the specific circumstances of the client.
We have already mentioned that patience is very important because it is very difficult to make any progress in the first two or three hours of conversation. So, arm yourself with patience and understanding. Also, in that first rush, the parties often just want to represent themselves in the best light, so sometimes they forget the main reason why they are there. Also, you don’t need to worry or think that the mediator is in favor of your partner because he talks to him often. The reason is that he wants to understand both sides as well as possible.
We believe that it is not easy for anyone to go through this, but with the right professional help, it will certainly be easier.